Intoxicating Blonde Idiots - Dhampir (Dhampire) (2024)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor any of the characters, but I do own the idea!

Intoxicating Blonde Idiots

Naruto moaned, one hand bunched in the fabric of Sasuke’s shirt and the other tangled in the dark inky locks of his lover, as Sasuke effortlessly and mercilessly attacked his erogenous zones. He was turning into putty beneath his lover’s ministrations as Sasuke ground his unflagging erection into his thigh while a hand tried to sneak beneath his shirt.

“Damn it, bastard,” he breathily spat with more lust than acid, “I gotta go to work.”

Sasuke hummed against the tawny skin in understanding, but didn’t move from where he’d caged his lover against the wall. The blonde bartender really was just too enticing, it certainly wasn’t his fault that Naruto had awakened his sleeping libido and if it wouldn’t kill Naruto to stay in bed and f*ck until the end of time unceasingly, they’d be doing just that.

Unfortunately, humans needed to eat and drink tangible things and therefore had to take breaks to do such annoyingly essential activities. Of course, if it wasn’t for Naruto, Sasuke would need to hunt, but his blonde lover kept him so well fed and six months later, he still found himself utterly enthralled with Naruto.

“Sasuke!” He tried to growl threateningly, but Sasuke had bit down on his neck and the growl had dissolved into a whining moan. His eyes rolled up and for a moment he pulled the raven closer and he could feel the triumphant grin against his skin. “We’ve already had sex four times today,” he pushed his lover away, his body shivering at the sudden lack of heat, and sent a mock glare at the man, “you’re insatiable, but it’s gonna have to wait because I gotta go to work!”

Sasuke’s bottom lip pushed out slightly to where it was almost a pout, “Only four?”

The blonde bartender chuckled, running his fingers through his hair, “Where do you find all the energy?”

He elegantly shrugged, “I’m an incubus.”

“Yeah, yeah, you just love to say that.” Naruto rolled his eyes, but the knowing smirk Sasuke sent him had his blood already thrumming with wonton desire. Lust filled him as he stared at his strikingly handsome boyfriend followed by utter confusion at how he attracted such flawless perfection that was Sasuke Uchiha. The man was sex personified, even as he stood before Naruto in a plain blue t-shirt and a pair of black jeans looking completely relaxed, he exuded sexuality and elegance. Midnight black locks framed high cheekbones and sinfully red lips, his thick eyelashes fell half lidded over depthless onyx eyes and Sasuke smirked at Naruto as if he knew exactly what was going through his mind.

“I could say much more,” Sasuke crooned, approaching his lover once more and encircling his arms around the blonde’s narrow waist as he leaned to whisper into Naruto’s ear, “I could tell you every lewd act I want to do to you and then do them, show you what a good lover is like.”

Naruto shivered as a frisson of dark lust jolted down his spine. Whenever Sasuke used that phrase, it almost always brought him to his knees, thoughts of his first blow j*b ever coming to mind. His ex’s might have never reciprocated giving head, but Sasuke absolutely loved going down on him, sometimes acting almost as if he were dying of thirst and Naruto’s seed was the purest water on earth. “I g-gotta…” he groaned, his head lolling briefly as Sasuke mouthed the skin there, “I have to go to work, bastard, I can’t get fired.”

Sasuke huffed, but stepped back, annoyance clear on his face as he stared at his blonde boyfriend that was barely hanging onto his control. “Why not?”

“Because I can’t, I’ve got bills to pay!” He answered as he collected himself again. The argument happened often enough, but usually Sasuke won and his mind was too clouded to think clearly enough to ask a pertinent question. Naruto frowned, co*cking his head curiously, “What is it you do? Now that I think about it, I never see you work.”

“I’m a trust fund kid,” the raven shrugged with a haughty smirk, “I do whatever I want because I don’t need to work.”

“Well I do.” Naruto grumped as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“No you don’t,” Sasuke argued back, dark eyes flashing as he moved towards the blonde bartender. “I’ve more than enough money to support you.”

“You’re my boyfriend, not my sugar daddy,” he huffed in response as he grabbed his wallet off the table, “and I like my job and paying my own way.”

“But I like you here, naked and writhing in bed while I make you scream.” Sasuke murmured, the tone dark and sultry and it made heat lick at Naruto’s arousal. “Don’t you like that too, Naruto?”

That alveolar trill sent blood straight to his co*ck and Naruto bit back a moan, his cheeks flushing as his mind wandered back to how he had awakened that morning to Sasuke kneeling between his legs and languorously sucking and licking his co*ck. He certainly did scream this morning, but now it was almost 9 at night and he was going to be late for work, so Sasuke was just going to have to wait. “Of course I do, but I need to go to work.”

Naruto moved towards the front door and his hand just reached the knob when arms wound themselves around his torso. “Do you really?” Sasuke whispered in his ear, that wicked tongue coming out to trace the shell of it as one of his hands dipped down to cup his half hard shaft through his jeans.

He whimpered, knees quaking as the bastard pressed his body tightly against his back, and the desperate desire to let Sasuke drag him back to bed almost won, but Tsunade promised to maim him if he called out of work one more time this month. “Yes.” His voice barely able to form the word through the wanton moan in his throat.

Sasuke gave a dejected sigh, but moved away. His hands ran tantalizingly up Naruto’s sides until they reached his shoulders and then he flipped the blonde around before slamming Naruto hard into the door.

Naruto gasped at the aggressive move as Sasuke licked at his exposed neck before sealing their lips together, the raven’s tongue prying his lips open with ease before stoking the burning desire within him into a raging fire.

Sasuke ground his hips into Naruto’s as he dominated the kiss, the blonde’s heady desire filled him and made it almost impossible for him to move away, but he did with a groan. Looking at his human through heavily lidded eyes, Sasuke smirked as Naruto panted loudly against the door. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to entertain myself until you can come.”

Naruto whimpered, his voice failing him as he grappled for the door knob and slipped out of his apartment before Sasuke could say another word. One more syllable out of that sinful mouth would’ve broken him and not even Tsunade’s wrath would’ve kept him from bedding the seductive raven again.

Naruto ran into the club, hoping to disappear behind the bar before Tsunade saw him, but unfortunately luck was not on his side that night. As soon as he breathed a sigh of relief, he found himself face to face with his godmother who decidedly looked quite annoyed with a bottle of vodka in her hand.

"Granny!" He practically jumped out of his skin, flushing at being caught by the buxom blonde owner. The woman was probably more plastic than flesh by this point, but no one would dare say that to her face, she packed quite a punch and anyone who crossed her would be needing their own plastic surgery once she as through with them. It’s probably why she could afford it, she probably got a free surgery for every ten people she “recommended” to her surgeon.

"Brat, why are you late?" she sighed, pouring herself a shot of liquor and drinking it down as if it was just water instead of hard liquor.

"I couldn't escape Sasuke!” He whined, pouting cutely as he logged into the cash register so that any credit tips went to him, “The man is insatiable, granny, do you know how many times we've had sex just today?"

Tsunade had just taken a second shot when Naruto mentioned sex and she quickly choked on the burning liquor. "I do not want to know about your sex life!” Tsunade wheezed once she was done coughing, glaring at her blonde godson.

Naruto cackled, blue eyes flashing mischievously, “Jealous?”

“Of you?" She snorted, "Not a chance, brat."

"And when's the last time you got any?" Naruto asked sourly.

Tsunade grimaced, way too long if she were being truthful, but she wasn't about to admit that to her godson. "None of your business.”

"That means way too f*ckin' long."

"Get to work you brat," she scowled, taking the bottle of vodka with her as she left her best bartender to do what he did best. Naruto's blonde hair and vibrant blue eyes completely captivated most people, add to it that he was as charming as he was affable and he always brought in the most tips and business. He also always made it a show when he bartended and she swore half their patrons came in just as much to see Naruto as they did to enjoy themselves.

Naruto grinned and began moving down the line of patrons, taking orders and mixing drinks with speed, finesse and accuracy. The night was already off to a good start if the tips he was raking in had anything to say about it, but Naruto still found himself bouncing as he glanced at his watch and counted down the hours to when he could go home to his boyfriend. Thinking of the handsome man sent a frisson of pleasure through his body, the seductive raven couldn't seem to get enough of him and Naruto didn't understand why.

All of Naruto’s other boyfriends ended in disaster, and fairly quickly at that. Despite being told that he was cute and friendly, no one seemed to want him beyond a few dates except for two, which he dumped because they were complete jerks. His experiences before Sasuke had paled in comparison, his ex's had always looked for their own pleasure first and his second, if at all. But Sasuke, the man constantly brought him to the very heights of pleasure before seeking his own, sometimes too much as Naruto often had to fight the man to let him do the work.

Somehow though, Sasuke had moved in with him. Naruto didn't even realize it happened until one day he discovered that his boyfriend never left. He was always there when Naruto left and always ready to greet him at the door when he came home. If Naruto wasn't so in love with the bastard, he'd probably be concerned with how smoothly Sasuke moved into his apartment and taken over his life, but Naruto loved having his lover there. It was nice coming home to someone instead of an empty apartment and while Naruto never asked for money, Sasuke always bought the groceries—minus Naruto’s favorite Raman cups, but considering they were only pocket change to buy he didn't complain—and would pay other random bills.

"What can I get ya?" Naruto asked with a smile to the handsome redhead who curiously watched him through heavily lidded eyes that hid most of his gorgeous sea green irises. The dark kohl around his eyes only accentuated those caledon depths and drew attention to them. Naruto had seen the man before, even ogled him on occasion, but the man had never paid such close interest to him before and it was a little unnerving now.

The man arrogantly smiled at him, showing off straight, white teeth as he leaned on the bar and closer to Naruto. "Your name." He murmured seductively, canting his head to the side and making his deep red locks shift to expose a tattoo on his forehead.

Naruto flashed that arrogant smile right back at him and replied, “Taken,” before moving onto the next patron, doing his best not to snicker at the incredulous look the redhead was giving him. His boyfriend was way hotter and so he certainly wasn’t going to even be tempted, plus he was quite used to Sasuke’s constant seductive tones and so hearing it from someone else really wasn’t very efficacious.

He looked back up to find the redhead had disappeared into the crowd and shrugged it off, it wouldn’t be the first time he pissed off a patron, but Tsunade wouldn’t care since he brought in more than enough business to lose a few. He moved fluidly between patrons, creating mixed drinks and sliding shots and beer bottles across the bar with speed—he only broke one glass this time! Tsunade just sighed and told him it was coming out his paycheck, again, and that he better start being more careful before his entire paycheck went towards buying new glasses.

But Naruto swore that it wasn’t his fault, some crazy gray haired man grabbed him as he was on his way to the bathroom and shoved him against the wall. Beady black eyes looked at him like he was some kind of meal and he gave Naruto the most psychotic smile he’d ever seen before licking the side of his face. The blonde bartender had shoved the man away and yelled for Kisame, causing the crazy guy to drop his glass even as he licked his lips sensually, his eyes flashing violet.

“My, you taste divine…” The man had chuckled just before the large bouncer hauled the creep out of the club.

Naruto shuddered at the memory of the weirdo as he wiped down the bar between patrons. “What is with people tonight?” He muttered to himself as he wondered about the man’s eyes once more, he had to have been imagining the dark violet color, right?

“They find you cute.” A voice said and Naruto looked up at the beautiful blonde woman leaning heavily on the bar, her breasts framed by her crossed arms as she smirked mirthfully at him. Dark emerald green eyes ran down his form appreciatively before that smirk grew into a wicked grin. “I bet you’re a sweetie too, aren’t you?” She cooed, leaning closer and tilting her head so that her blonde bangs fell slightly in front of one of her eyes.

“To my boyfriend, I am.” Naruto responded cheekily.

She pouted, sighing deeply as she tsk’d, “Always the cute ones…” She fluttered her eyelashes before crooking her pointer finger at Naruto. “Let me tell you a secret though.” Naruto leaned in closer, curiosity winning over wariness, and she smiled sensuously. “Hidan is still waiting for you outside so you might want to call that boyfriend of yours,” she murmured as she ran red painted nails along his jawline.

“Hidan?” He frowned, he didn’t know any Hidan…

She rolled her eyes and yanked him closer, her lips pressing against his as Naruto froze, shocked at the brazen move by the beautiful woman. She moaned against his mouth, pulling back after a few seconds with her eyes lust-blown and her cheeks flushed crimson. “Holy f*ck.” The blonde woman whispered as she panted slightly, lust turning her voice deep and strained as she bit her lip and moaned again. “That’s the best birthday present ever.”

“What the hell is going on tonight?” Naruto asked, slightly panicked at being accosted for the second time that night.

“Tell your boyfriend that Temari told him to get his ass down here to handle Hidan.” The beautiful woman said before giving him a knowing smirk and sauntering away, leaving the blonde bartender stupefied as he tried to comprehend what the hell was happening. Her bright red dress made her easily seen despite the club being packed to capacity and Naruto watched as more than one head turned towards the sassy woman, her short dress showing off shapely thighs and toned calves before ending in strappy red heels. Temari looked over her shoulder at him, giving him a saucy wink, before she pointed to two handsome men and beckoned them to follow her, the men immediately on her heels as they disappeared onto the dance floor.

Tenten appeared next to him, frowning at the panicky look on Naruto’s face and touched his shoulder, causing Naruto to holler as he jumped away. “Don’t even think about kissing me!”

His brunette coworker stared at him like he was insane and Naruto was starting to think maybe he was. “It’s your break time, Naruto.” She said soothingly as she co*cked a brow, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m…” he scratched the back of his head embarrassedly as he took a deep breath and gave the other bartender a brilliant smile, “I’m fine, Tenten, thanks. I’ll just gonna call Sasuke and then hit the dance floor, maybe I just need to get some energy out.”

“You’re acting awfully strange, Naruto.” She teased, used to the blonde’s strange antics, but even for him this was odd behavior.

He laughed, “Just a weird night, but nothing I can’t handle.” Naruto waved at her as he slipped out from behind the bar and went into the Employee’s Only area where he could have a quieter place to call Sasuke. The pulsating music could still be heard, but the doors at least blocked most of the sound, enough to actually have a conversation at least. He pulled his cellphone out and called Sasuke, his boyfriend picking up within a few rings.

On break?” Sasuke purred seductively, the dark cadence causing desire to well up, “Maybe you can sneak back home because I’m so bored playing all alone.

Sasuke,” he groaned, his lover was the biggest tease he’d ever met, but at least he only teased Naruto to the brink of insanity before taking him to nirvana.

He huskily chuckled and Naruto shivered at the sound. “I bet I could make you cum untouched over the phone.” Sasuke crooned and Naruto moaned lowly, his eyes sliding closed as his pants suddenly became tighter. The damned bastard had already proven he could make him cum untouched just from teasing his body and while he wanted to deny that Sasuke could do it, he honestly had no doubt the seductive raven could actually do it.

“I still have three hours of my shift left.” Naruto whispered, stopping his hand before he cupped himself through his jeans. “And it’s been a f*cking weird night, you have no idea, Sas.”

Weird night?” Sasuke asked after a pause. “What do you mean?

“Some guy shoved me against the wall and licked the side of my face; I had to wash my face with disinfectant to make sure I don’t catch whatever the hell is wrong with him. Then this blonde chick kissed me outta no where!” He explained wildly as Sasuke grew oddly quiet. Naruto could practically feel his lover’s anger through his phone and he quickly emphasized, “I didn’t kiss her, bastard, but it was so weird. I think she was high or something, but maybe you know her? She told me to tell you to get your ass down here because some guy called Hidan is waiting outside of the club for me. I don’t even know who the hell Hidan is!”

“Hidan?” Sasuke growled and Naruto could hear the bed squeaking beneath the shuffling of sheets as his boyfriend slid off the bed. “Hidan licked you?

“I-I don’t know! I didn’t exchange pleasantries with the asshole, Sasuke.” Naruto rolled his eyes, “Kisame threw him out of the club—oh sh*t, you think that’s who Temari was talking about?” He gasped, all lustful thoughts disappearing as a cold shiver ran down his spine, “I think the dude is a serial killer or something, maybe I should call the police?!”

“Temari’s there too?” His boyfriend exclaimed, “What the f*ck is she doing there?

Naruto frowned, “Sasuke, what is going on? Who are Hidan and Temari? Do you know them?”

I’m coming down there, do not leave the club.” Sasuke snarled, the call ending before Naruto could even question him.

“That explains everything, thanks bastard.” The blonde bartender stared at his phone and wondered for the tenth time that night what was wrong with people today. First the strangely gorgeous people who were suddenly interested in him, then the psycho who licked him and now Sasuke was acting all weird. He shoved his phone back into his pocket and let out an aggravated huff. He still had 25 minutes of his break left and he knew Tsunade wouldn’t let him come back early because of labor laws, but just standing around would just fray his nerves.

The nervous energy thrumming through him needed some kind of an outlet and so after a minute of vacillation, he finally made his way onto the dance floor, sliding between the bodies until he was near the middle and then closed his eyes, losing himself in the music as he began to sway to the beat. Hips moving rhythmically, he let his hands rise above his head and lost himself to the music, his nerves melting away as everything else faded. Just him and the music, no crazy people trying to lick him or crazy-hot people trying to make a move on him; nope, he could just let all of that wash away and focus on just being.

And it worked, for a while at least, but then he felt hands brushing against him. The first few times he ignored it, it happened on occasion when one was on a crowded dance floor and bodies were writhing and pushing against each other as people moved through the floor and danced, but then brushes against his body became more pointed brushes, more like caresses.

Naruto opened his eyes and looked around him, but he couldn’t pinpoint who had touched him and he didn’t see anyone specifically looking at him. He moved away and then began to dance again, his hands running up his sides as he once again lost himself to the music and let everything else disappear. It’s always what soothed him, he had practically grown up in the club after his parents passed away and it was the rhythm that allowed him to block everything else out and grieve in his own way. Of course, when he was eight, he was only allowed to dance in Granny’s office, but once he was sixteen she let him go out on the dance floor and just enjoy the dance beat. He almost never danced with anyone else, almost never noticing anyone else until Sasuke had found him on the dance floor all those months ago.

A body pressed against him from behind, hands settling on his hips and moving along with him in perfect rhythm as Naruto melted back into the body, feeling the hard planes of his lover’s body and letting out a small moan. A hot breath ghosted across his ear as those strong arms wrapped around his waist and he smiled as he chuckled slightly, fingers teasing at his exposed skin between his shirt and jeans. Lips touched teasingly against his neck, slightly chapped and ever so soft, and Naruto gasped as his eyes snapped open, his body twisting as he turned to face someone most decidedly not his lover. “What the f*ck are you doing?” He yelled angrily as he stared at the mysteriously handsome redhead. “I told you I was taken!”

His lips twisted into a savage smile as he stepped closer to Naruto, “I was only dancing with you, Sasuke told me to stay near you in case Hidan caused trouble.”

“Dancing doesn’t include kissing!” The blonde bartender protested, his blue eyes flashing irately as he stabbed the stranger in the sternum before the rest of his words caught up to him. “Wait, you know Sasuke?”

“We’ve known each other for ages, one could say it even feels like centuries,” the redhead chuckled at his own joke as Naruto stared quizzically at him, “I would even consider him my best friend since we’re no longer lovers.”

He wracked his brain for anyone Sasuke might have mentioned as a best friend, but most of the time Sasuke just shrugged off any questions about his family and they certainly hadn’t talked about previous lovers. He told Naruto his parents were long dead and that he had an estranged brother who lived far away from them and that before Naruto he just roamed around the country without a care to where he was going. He vaguely remembered his lover mentioning someone that he traveled with for years and Naruto tilted his head as he asked hesitantly, “Gaara?”

The redhead’s smile turned positively fiendish his arm snaked around Naruto’s waist and pulled the blonde close, “That’s me and you are Sasuke’s little pet.”

Naruto pressed both hands flat against Gaara’s chest, leaning back as Gaara leaned forward and scowled at the man. “Pet?” He asked acidulously, “I’m his lover, not some plaything.”

“My apologies,” came the smooth reply even as that smile grew to show sharp, elongated canines, “it’s just I’ve never known Sasuke to take a lover like you and I find it intriguing. What is it about you that ensnared Sasuke?”

“A lover like me? Well, I can see how the two of you are best friends,” Naruto snarled, trying to push away from the redhead that held him quite possessively now, “you’re both f*cking bastards. Let me go, asshole!”

Gaara refused; instead he pulled Naruto closer and nuzzled the blonde’s neck as he wrapped tendrils of desire around the bartender to entice him. “Sasuke won’t mind if I take just a taste, just to see what all the fuss is about.”

“W-what the hell are you talking about?” He asked even as he felt his body suddenly feel all too hot, lust twined with anger and then there was a hand on his chin, holding his face still as Gaara pressed their lips together, the redhead’s kiss momentarily gentle before Gaara surged forward with a hissing groan as Naruto suddenly felt the man’s hard erection pressing against him. He froze, too shocked by the move to do anything, but when Gaara’s tongue licked against his lips, asking for entrance, Naruto came back to his senses and opened his mouth only to bite it.

The redhead pulled back in surprise and Naruto’s eyes widened as he stared into golden-yellow irises that he knew had been a sea-green earlier. Gaara rolled his hips against Naruto’s body, a cruel smirk on his lips as he licked them, “My, what treasure did Sasuke find?” He murmured seductively, but all Naruto felt was panic as he realized there was seriously something wrong with this man.

Gaara!” Sasuke suddenly materialized next to Naruto and the dark fury emanating from him made the redhead pause. “I told you to watch over my lover, not f*cking seduce him!”

“Sasuke,” the bartender gasped, shoving Gaara hard and making the redhead release him with a snarl. Naruto quickly retreated to his lover’s side, immediately melding into the raven as Sasuke snarled back.

Amber eyes narrowed, Gaara’s body taut with roiling lust, “Everyone is titillating over your little pet, I only wanted to see what all the fuss was about, but I didn’t expect that.”

Sasuke wrapped a possessive arm around Naruto and the blonde could feel the tense muscles in his boyfriend’s body. “He’s not my pet,” he spat venomously, “and I won’t have you or anyone else coming after him. He’s mine and I’m not f*cking sharing, so back off, Demon.”

“You never minded sharing before.” Gaara growled, taking a step forward as Sasuke pushed Naruto behind him.

Sasuke bristled as his eyes flashed blood red, “Well, I do now.”

The two friends glared at each other for a moment before Gaara scoffed and back away before disappearing into the throngs of people to find someone else. Sasuke didn’t even care if Demon was too far in control for it to be safe, he was too pissed off that his kind had been accosting his lover all night to think reasonably.

“Mind explaining what the hell is going on, bastard?” Naruto asked lightly, but from the way his eyes were narrowed, Sasuke knew not to be fooled by the tone, his little human was pissed off and fed up.

“Word has gotten out about you, it seems.” He murmured, his voice rumbling angrily and distinctly clear despite the loud, thrumming music. Elegant fingers brushed soothingly through Naruto’s hair as Sasuke glanced around the club and narrowing his eyes at the inhumans in the crowd before he turned the blonde bartender towards him and kissed him possessively, erasing all traces of the others who dared touch his lover. He pulled the smaller man to him as he deepened the kiss, his tongue stroking and twining Naruto’s until he felt the blonde melt against him with a moan. Dark lust spiraled within him, tempered with something deeper that Sasuke couldn’t place, and he felt erection strain against his pants as he fed from his little blonde human. “You’re intoxicating,” he moaned against the blonde’s lips, their bodies flush against each other, “I want you, need you.”

Naruto groaned as Sasuke pulled away, his blue eyes dark and dilated as his rubicund cheeks made him look debauched and wonton. “Storage room.” He growled, surging forward to nip at the raven’s bottom lip before he began pulling Sasuke back towards the Employee’s Only door where Sasuke had first shown him such intense pleasure that Naruto almost blacked out.

Just as they were a few yards away, an imposing figure stepped out and Naruto yelped as he stepped back, eyes widening as he realized Tsunade was staring disapprovingly at him. “And where do you think you’re going, brat?”

“H-hey, Granny! I was just gonna show Sasuke something in the back,” he grinned innocently as if he hadn’t been planning to let his boyfriend ravage him in the storage room.

She snorted, rolling her eyes at the two young men, “Yeah and I’m pretty sure I know which back you were going to show him too, your break is over, so pretty boy is gonna have to wait until you finish your shift.”

“But—” He started to protest, but the blonde bar owner glared him into silence.

And you will go home before you start anything unless you want me to dock half your paycheck until you die.” She threatened, rolling up one sleeve and making a fist to show she would make good on her promise. “Now scram, I want to talk to Sasuke alone.”

Naruto glanced at his lover, trying to gauge the raven’s mood and whether leaving two cantankerous people together was really a smart idea or not, but Sasuke just snorted with a smirk and shoved Naruto towards the bar. “Tsunade and I won’t kill each other.”

The blonde bartender gave another wary glance at the two before he returned to the bar where he kept serendipitously looking at the two. He scowled when each time he did; Tsunade just flatly stared back before waving at him and dragging Sasuke to her office once it became obvious Naruto couldn’t focus with his lover so nearby. “What the hell does she want with my boyfriend?” He huffed as Tenten laughed, bumping her hip into his.

“Afraid she’ll steal him from you?”

“Please, Sasuke certainly has no interest in her.” Naruto answering bitingly as he mixed a drink for a green haired woman. He poured it into another cup with ice and added a lemon wedge before plastering a bright grin on his face and handing it to the woman. “I hope you have fun having Sex in the Driveway.”

She laughed, sliding a few bills across the bar with a wink. “Oh, I plan to.”

The blonde slid the tip into his back pocket and put the rest of the money in the till, he was at least doing well in the tip department tonight even if he and Sasuke were going to have a long talk tonight—after having sex because he doubted either one of them would make it through the conversation otherwise. He allowed his gaze to sweep over the bar and noticed all of his patrons were taken care of before he checked on Tenten, his coworker handling the flow of customers well, and then looked over to the closed door of Tsunade’s office. He scowled once more, taking a step towards it to find out why the hell his godmother was keeping Sasuke away for so long when he got flagged down for another order. With a sigh, he smiled brightly and returned to his job, hopefully Sasuke could handle himself.

The bell rang across the club and Naruto glanced up in surprise as Tenten yelled out “Last call!” to the patrons. They had gotten slammed just after midnight and the two of them had been running nonstop, mixing drinks and sliding beers across the bar and somehow avoiding running into each other in all the chaos around them. The blonde bartender let out a sigh of relief that they were coming to the end of the night and that he’d finally be able to go over and drag his lover away from where Tsunade still had them barricaded in her office together.

“Can the birthday girl still get a drink?” A coy voice called and Naruto looked up to see the gorgeous blonde from earlier, a flirty smile on her lips as she leaned against the bar.

Naruto smirked, splaying his hands across the bar and leaning forward, “And how old is the birthday girl?”

Temari gasped, “You never ask a lady that!”

“Too bad you’re not a lady then.” Another person murmured lazily, his voice somehow smooth and yet there was a coarse undertone that hinted at a raw sexuality.

The blonde woman scowled as her companion sidled up next to her at the bar; dodging the swat she tried to hit him with. “Why the hell did I invite you again?”

Naruto stared at the man curiously, watching as the man shrugged and his dark gray eyes somehow smiling while the man’s silvery hair flopped with the movement. The man’s nose and mouth were completely covered by a black mask and before he could stop his mouth, Naruto blurted out, “Is something wrong with your face?”

Those gray eyes slid towards him, falling to half-mast as the man tilted his head slightly and letting Naruto see the deep scar that went across his left eye. “Oh, is this him?” He asked, his voice suddenly dropping an octave and Naruto bit his lip subconsciously at the lust emanating from the man. “I’ll let you see if you give me a kiss.”

The blonde bartender snarled, “f*ck you, man!”

He shrugged again, the rising and fall of his shoulders somehow as elegant as it was lazy. “I’m not disinclined to that,” he purred, “my place or yours?”

As Naruto blanched, Temari giggled and shoved the silver-haired man in the face. “Kakashi, stop teasing him, you heard what Gaara said, Sasuke isn’t sharing this one.”

“Well, Sasuke isn’t here right now,” Kakashi almost whined, “someone needs to make sure his little pet’s needs are met.”

I’m not his f*cking pet!” Naruto yelled, slamming his hands down angrily on the bar. “What the hell is wrong with all of you?”

Tenten suddenly appeared next to him as Gaara materialized next to Temari, both of them protectively posturing at the other. “I think you all should leave,” she said evenly, her hand sliding beneath the bar to find the button that would call the bouncers as Gaara’s yellow-gold eyes narrowed dangerously. “Now.”

Two arms slithered around Kakashi’s chest and a stunningly beautiful raven-haired woman peeked over his shoulder. “Do forgive Kakashi here, I’m still training him and his manners are lacking.” She purred seductively, her bright claret eyes matching the shade of her lips that smiled disarmingly at the bartenders. “We won’t cause any trouble, we’re friends of Sasuke’s and just got a little carried away in wanting to meet Sasuke’s p—er,” she chuckled lightly, the sound like the tinkling of silver bells, “boyfriend.”

“You don’t have to be his boyfriend.” Gaara licked his lips, leaning towards Naruto and causing the blonde to step back. “We promise to show you a good time,” he crooned sultrily, lust blowing his pupils so wide his eyes were almost black.

“Gaara, knock it off.” Temari warned, but there was a tendril of fear mixed into the strongly said words as Gaara’s body tensed and his nostrils flared. “Damn it, this is why we brought Hidan!”

“The serial killer is Sasuke’s friend too?” Naruto practically hollered, sending the group of unfairly attractive people into a fit of laughter as Tenten stared at them all like they were insane. The blonde bartender turned towards Tsunade’s office and, ignoring all the looks from patrons they were receiving, bellowed at the top of his lungs, “Sasuke Uchiha, you get your ass out here right now!”

Within seconds, Tsunade’s office door opened to show his surly lover scowling darkly at the club owner before he turned and saw the collection of incubi and succubae huddled around his lover. His expression turned downright lethal as he glowered at them and stomped his way, gracefully, over to them as Tsunade suddenly appeared on Naruto’s other side, warily watching the four patrons across from her godson.

Temari grinned as the dark Uchiha approached them, her sassy tone teasing the raven incubus. “Hey Sasuke, your boyfriend sure is a sweet thing, absolutely scrumptious.”

Sasuke paused for a beat, then spun Gaara around and slammed the redhead back against the bar hard with an animalistic snarl, “You told Temari?” Sasuke’s hand was thin and elegant with long, pianist-like fingers, but they certainly didn’t lack any strength as the raven wrapped his hand around Gaara’s throat and forced the redhead to bow back until he was pinned against the bar harshly. “You know your sister is the biggest gossip there is, Gaara!”

“Hey, I resent that, you know Ino is a bigger gossip than me.” Temari pouted as she crossed her arms over her chest, but oddly wasn’t bothered by the fact that her brother was currently being choked by his supposed friend.

“Sasuke!” Naruto yelled, shocked at the savage display and Sasuke looked up, his usual black eyes a dark red that were filled with such unchecked fury any other words died in Naruto’s throat.

Gaara moaned, shocking the three humans that stared down as Gaara gripped Sasuke’s wrist tightly in one arm as his other hand tried to pull the raven closer to him, his hips undulating as he writhed in pleasure. “We were just curious,” he gasped as Sasuke squeezed tighter, “f*ck,” he rasped, another moan catching in his throat as his air was cut off, his eyes rolling up at the rough handling.

“You call molesting my lover curiosity?” He growled, picking up Gaara’s head slightly by his neck before slamming him back into the bar once more. The redhead contorted as his erection throbbed with unsatiated desire, even the woman he had roughly f*cked in the bathroom less than an hour ago hadn’t taken the edge off.

“Maa, Sasuke, you better let him go before he c*ms.” Kakashi sighed as Kurenai ran her hands tantalizingly over his chest, teasing the silver-haired incubus playfully as the two watched the scene unfold. “You know how cranky he gets when he has to walk around with sem*n all inside his pants.”

The redhead shook his head wordlessly, holding Sasuke’s wrist in place as his hips bucked into the air and he caught the raven’s shirt with enough of his free hand to pull Sasuke towards him and catch the Uchiha off guard. As soon as Sasuke’s body touched his clothed erection, Gaara thrust against him and gasped as his org*sm rocked through him, his body convulsing hard as he hoarsely moaned and rode out the climax with Sasuke still choking him.

Naruto stared down at the beautiful redhead, a few strands sticking to his almond toned skin as Sasuke released his hold on him, Gaara sucking in deep breaths as he remained boneless against the bar. The blonde bartender looked up at his boyfriend, Sasuke’s anger still simmering as he glared at his supposed best friend. “What even is…” Naruto trailed off, unable to even finish his thought as he faultily tried to form his chaotic thoughts into some order.

“That’s some kind of masoch*stic kink you’ve got there.” Tsunade commented, watching as Gaara opened his eyes, the mesmerizing caledon color back once again. She shooed Tenten away, noticing the flushed cheeks on the brunette and realizing her bartender was becoming enamored with the sinfully handsome redhead, and watched her dazedly walk away before speaking again. “Naruto,” she turned her penetrating brown eyes to her godson, “maybe you should be rethinking your choice in boyfriends if this is the company he keeps.”

The blonde sputtered as Sasuke growled warningly, “What the hell, Granny?! You practically pimped me out to him when you met him, or did you forget that?”

“That was for a one-night stand, not for a relationship.” She scoffed, “How was I supposed to know you were going to keep him around?”

“Have you looked at him lately?” Naruto deadpanned, pointing to his lover who smirked arrogantly, “Who in their right mind would ever say no to that?

Kakashi hummed in agreement, “Absolutely agree, little human,” earning him a perplexed glance from the blonde, “no one would ever turn Sasuke down.”

“Fine, I didn’t think he’d keep you around then, is that better?” Tsunade teased and Naruto rolled his eyes at his godmother.

“I’ll have you know Sasuke is very satisfied with me.” Naruto argued back as Gaara pushed himself upright, his hand sweeping through his red locks and pushing them out of his face.

Temari smiled demurely, “I can see why, you’re delicious.”

“Back off Temari,” the Uchiha hissed angrily, “he’s mine.

Naruto glared at Sasuke, pointing an accusing finger at him as he sibilated, “You have a lot of explaining to do when I’m done working.” Then with angry mutterings, he began closing tabs and taking payments while the group of humans and inhumans watched him.

“Someone’s in trouble with the missus now.” Kakashi joked, yelping when Kurenai smacked him on the head.

“Do you want Sasuke to eviscerate you?” The gorgeous succubus asked with a pointed look.

“No, I want him to let me f*ck his little blonde, but since that’s not happening…” He shrugged with a dejected sigh, “It just seems unfair that everyone got a taste except me.”

“I didn’t!” Kurenai exclaimed as Sasuke balled his hands into fists at his side, his still blood red eyes trained on where his boyfriend smiled and laughed with some of the regulars at the club.

“Then we just need to work together to corner him,” Kakashi whispered conspiratorially, “it’ll be a fun game.”

“No,” she rolled her eyes, “it’ll be suicide and I happen to enjoy living still.”

Tsunade crossed her arms over her chest and stared down the group before her. “So I’m assuming you all are Sasuke’s…kind?”

They all turned to look at the Uchiha, who dragged his gaze away from the blonde bartender and shrugged, “She’s Naruto’s godmother and she knew something was different about me, especially after I had to take care of Hidan.”

“What did you do to Hidan?” Temari asked curiously, “We brought him to keep Demon in check, but thankfully you were here to do that before something disastrous happened.”

Sasuke cracked his knuckles, “I just explained that licking my lover’s face was the best way to an early grave.”

“You threatened to cut out his tongue.” Tsunade retorted flatly. “And gouge out his eyes if he so much as looked at Naruto.”

“You disapprove?” He gracefully lifted a brow, his lips slowly growing into a seductive grin, “You certainly weren’t disapproving of it earlier when we were alone in your office.”

The blonde owner flushed crimson, “If it keeps him away from Naruto, I won’t disapprove, but you better not treat Naruto like that or you’ll find yourself on the wrong side of my good side.” Then with another glare at the others gathered, she strode away in a hurry, causing Naruto to glance from her to their group quizzically.

Kurenai looked Sasuke over, the succubus a good two millennia older than him, but still just as youthful as she was when she was twenty five. “What did you do to her?”

“She happened to be out back drinking when I dragged Hidan back behind the building to talk to him. She overheard our conversation and that I didn’t care if he was Itachi’s friend, I would make it impossible for him to feed from another human ever again if he tried something on my lover again.” Sasuke explained, his gaze returning once more to his blonde lover, a soft smile on his lips as he watched Naruto unwittingly dancing to the music, his hips swaying along with the beat. “She thought I was a vampire at first,” he murmured as the others chuckled, it was as common misconception since they could feed through blood, but they couldn’t drain a person of blood, “but didn’t believe me that I was an incubus until I proved it.”

“You f*cked Naruto’s grandmother?” Kakashi asked salaciously, eyebrows disappearing beneath the fringe of silver hair.

No and she’s his godmother,” he sniped acidly, “but since she admitted she wasn’t attracted to me considering the age difference and I’m Naruto’s boyfriend, I just made her want me and that was enough proof for her.” Sasuke chortled lightly as he continued to watch Naruto prepare another mixed drink, this one a pink concoction from what he could see. “I think she was more surprised to learn that the age difference was infinitely larger than she thought and that she’s actually the younger one.”

The silver incubus straightened up, Kurenai already rolling her eyes and moving away from the man. “So you’re saying you got her worked up and then left her unsatisfied? Such a beautiful woman shouldn’t ever suffer such a fate,” he murmured, walking away from the group without another word as he made a beeline for Tsunade’s office. He knocked once before slipping inside and firmly closing the door behind him.

Naruto appeared moments later, setting down a light pink drink with sprinkles all along the rim in front of Temari, the blonde woman co*cking her head at him. “A Birthday Cake martini for the birthday girl.” He grinned flirtatiously, his blue eyes sparkling mirthfully, “And it’s on the house, your brother on the other hand gets nothing.”

Kurenai sidled up next to Temari, tapping French tipped nails against the bar, “What about me? Do I get something from you? It doesn’t have to be a drink…”

“Kurenai, I thought I could at least trust you.” Sasuke growled, but the succubus just waved him off with a coquettish smile.

“Are you Sasuke’s sister?” Naruto asked, looking from her to his lover, “He mentioned a brother, but never a sister.”

The beautiful woman laughed as Sasuke turned red, “No, I’m not, though considering I taught him how to seduce, I guess that makes me like an older sister.”

“You did not!” Sasuke protested, “Itachi taught me more than you ever did.”

“Please, all Itachi knows how to do is torture people,” she teased, yanking Sasuke to her and ruffling his hair as he tried to get away from her, “I’ll be your big sister, just call me nee-chan.”

Naruto watched as Sasuke blushed with embarrassment as he tried to extrapolate himself from Kurenai’s grasp. He laughed, leaning against the bar and placing his chin in the palm of his hand as he enjoyed this side of Sasuke he hadn’t seen before. Oh, Sasuke had joked around him at times, but seeing his brooding lover being teased was different from anything he was used to seeing.

“Most people haven’t slept with their nee-chans!” The raven huffed and suddenly Naruto wasn’t laughing anymore.

“Hm, that’s true. Then just call me sensei,” she cooed, “and I’ll call you my little kohai.”

“You’ve slept with her?” The blonde bartender asked in a quiet voice and Sasuke froze, he didn’t even need to touch his boyfriend to know Naruto was upset, “And from what Gaara said earlier, I’m sure you’ve slept with him too. Have you slept with all of your friends?”

“Yes,” Sasuke answered monotonously as hurt filled blue eyes looked back at him from across the bar. He wasn’t certain what to say though, it wasn’t in their nature to be perturbed by most boundaries as humans were and other than Gaara, he hadn’t even slept with any of them in more than 1,500 years.

Temari shrugged, “It’s really not uncommon, when we hit our sexual awakening it’s quite normal to experiment with friends.”

“No it isn’t!” Naruto protested, but as he looked at Sasuke’s other friends, he was met with unconcerned gazes as they all thought the same way. He wasn’t certain what to think of that and as he looked back at his lover, he suddenly felt like he didn’t really know Sasuke after all. “You know what, I’m going home.” He pushed away from the bar and made his way towards the end to slip out of it, Sasuke already there by the time he reached it.

“Wait, Naruto,” Sasuke said, grabbing Naruto’s hand as the blonde tried to push past him, his eyes fluttering at the onslaught of strong emotions overrunning him—a mix of deep pain and confusion warring with the constant thrum of desire as well as that deeper emotion he couldn’t place that Naruto felt for him. “You said I have some explaining to do, so let me do that, just…not here.”

The blonde sighed, tamping down his hurt and anger, and nodded. “Then let’s go home.”

“Oh, can we come too?” Temari asked, arms linked with Gaara. “It’s been ages since we’ve seen Sasuke and we’d love to get to know you better too.”

Caledon eyes pierced through Naruto, as if the redhead was looking at his soul, “Yes, I’m quite interested in the human who was able to turn Sasuke away from his self-imposed celibacy.”

“Self-imposed celibacy?” Naruto questioned as Sasuke glared at them.

“No, go away, you’ve done enough damage.” He ordered before adding, “And no one better tell Itachi!”

“Pretty sure Hidan’s already done that.” Kurenai said as she appeared on Gaara’s other side.

“Damn it! Now I have to deal with him as well?”

“Why can’t your brother know about us?” Naruto demanded, anger spiking rapidly and Sasuke hissed at the engulfing emotion that threatened to bring him to his knees. “And it’s my apartment and so I get to say who can and can’t come there, and I say they can!”

Gaara grinned menacingly and Sasuke immediately snarled at him, “No, we’ll go to Gaara’s apartment, I’m not about to let any of you deviants know where my lover and I live.”

Temari’s eyes lit up, “Oh, you two live together? Interesting indeed!”

“I’ll just text Kakashi so he knows where to go once he’s finished with that blonde woman.” Kurenai said, sauntering away to get her purse that she left at a nearby table.

“Blonde woman? What blonde woman? You mean Granny?” Naruto looked at his lover, the raven refusing to meet his gaze as he slowly connected the dots before he let out a horrified gasp, “Your friend is f*cking my godmother?!”

Sasuke sat on Gaara’s black leather couch, Naruto squirming in his lap as he held the blonde there with his arms wrapped around Naruto’s waist. He wasn’t certain where to direct his glare and so took to constantly glaring around the room, well aware that his lover was a font of overpowering emotions that two of the four people had gotten to taste. Kurenai sat on one side and Temari on the other with Kakashi lounging across the overstuffed chair, legs dangling off the armrest as he kept those lustfully curious gray eyes trained on Naruto. Sasuke growled, pulling Naruto firmly against his chest and glowered at the silver-haired incubus. “Stop staring at my boyfriend.” He snapped, eyes flashing red, but Kakashi just looked at him blandly.

“Let’s have a threesome.” He suggested, waggling his eyebrows as Naruto flushed red.

“That’s not even related!” The blonde bartender clamored, gesturing wildly as he glared at the iniquitous incubus.

Gaara set down a tray of drinks on the table as he canted his head at the couple, “My bed is big enough for an orgy.”

“Oh, is it?” Temari asked deviously, meeting Kurenai’s amused gaze, “Same rules, Gaara? You get the right side of the bed and I get the left?”

Sasuke groaned, letting his head fall back on the sofa as he began questioning why he thought Gaara’s apartment would be better than staying at the club. “Will you all shut up? I’m not sharing Naruto.”

“I’m only having sex with Sasuke and that’s final!” Naruto yelled obstreperously as he tried to squirm out of Sasuke’s lap, but his lover kept a powerful hold on him, nipping at his ear lobe as he rolled his hips up and the blonde bartender immediately stilled as he felt Sasuke’s half-hard member pressing into him.

“But I have this new technique from Page 37 of Icha Icha,” Kakashi bemoaned, “and it would be perfect to try out with a blonde.”

“You already had a blonde,” Sasuke pointed out as Naruto’s eyes bugged out at the reminder, “and I’m sure Temari would love to try it with you.”

“Don’t go offering me up,” she wrinkled her nose at Kakashi who winked at her, “how did he become a friend anyway? He’s even perverted by our standards.”

“Itachi trained him and then Kurenai took pity on him when Itachi threw him to the wayside.” Sasuke deadpanned. Kakashi was actually the youngest of their group at just a few centuries over a millennia, with Kurenai being the oldest at over five millennia and then Sasuke, Temari and Gaara in their respective order. Oftentimes an older succubus or incubus would help train younger ones to make sure they weren’t overtaken by the onslaught of emotions when feeding and how to blend in with humans as well as use their seductive nature to lure humans to them. Kurenai just happened to get stuck with Kakashi.

“Did she take pity on Itachi or Kakashi though?” Temari asked smugly.

“Temari is no fun,” Kakashi sulked before sliding off the chair and sinking to his knees before Naruto’s spread legs, the blonde’s knees on either side of Sasuke’s thighs, “but I bet you’re tons of fun.”

“Don’t even.” Sasuke snarled, shoving Kakashi away with his foot.

“You had sex with my godmother,” Naruto said incredulously, “less than an hour ago. Do you really think I’d have sex with you even if I was single?”

Kakashi feigned hurt as he stood up before asking the blonde, “Why not?”

You slept with my granny!”

“And she was heavenly, so I’m positive you are absolutely divine.” He crooned seductively, eyes flashing red as heat crept up Naruto’s neck.

“He is and he’s mine.” Sasuke warned.

Kurenai trilled at them, running a hand up Naruto’s arm before she pinched his cheek, “You two are so cute! I’ve never seen Sasuke so possessive, at least not since he had that kitten.”

Sasuke made a strangled sound as Temari gasped with delight. “Oh my, I completely forgot about his kitten, what was its name?”

“Tomato.” Gaara smirked as Sasuke seethed.

Naruto let out a barking laugh, “You named your cat after your favorite food?”

“I was five!” He riposted as he slid a hand beneath the blonde’s shirt, fingers stroking the tawny skin beneath alluringly, “At least I didn’t name my dog after my favorite ramen when I was twelve, what kind of name is Miso Chasu?”

“It’s a perfectly good name!” Naruto huffed, trying to bite back a moan as Sasuke teased him, those elegant fingers leaving a scorching path across his skin that fueled that euphoric desire within him. He shivered as Sasuke kissed the back of his neck, teeth scraping over his skin before a tongue darted out to taste.

Sasuke just chuckled, unable to resist Naruto’s natural temptation as he gorged himself on the deep rapturous desire within his lover. It wasn’t his fault, not really, Naruto was just too enticing fidgeting on his lap and pressing his ass into his groin and his emotions spilling over. Of course he was going to become distracted, he was a damned incubus after all!

Sas…” Naruto groaned, feeling his lover’s growing arousal as his eyes slowly closed. He rocked his body back against Sasuke as that hand beneath his shirt crept higher until he moaned loudly as a nail scraped across his nipple.

“f*ck, just one kiss?” Kakashi begged and Naruto opened his eyes to find the silver-haired man inches from his face.

Naruto yelped as Kakashi leaned forward. “No, damn it! Will someone please control him?” He looked at the others, but found himself beneath four very hungry stares as Sasuke held Naruto tightly against him. He squirmed, trying to turn enough to look over his shoulder at his irritated lover. “Damn it, bastard, what the hell is wrong with your friends?”

“You should know better than to tease us with what you say we can’t have.” Gaara growled, his eyes a mix of yellow and green as he stepped away.

“Hell, I’ll just watch,” Kakashi continued on as if he hadn’t just been rebuffed, “go on Sasuke, I’m sure you can use Gaara’s bed, we’ll just watch, maybe touch a little.” Naruto gaped as he stared straight into claret colored eyes that he definitely knew were gray moments before. “How flexible are you? What’s your favorite position? Has Sasuke f*cked you against the wall while holding your hands behind your back? It’s one of my favorites,” he was suddenly surging forward, his voice gravelly with lust, “I’ll be happy to show it to you.”

Before Naruto could even respond, Kakashi pulled his mask down and sealed their lips, the silver-haired incubus groaning libidinously before Kurenai and Gaara yanked him back as Naruto stared slack-jawed as Sasuke pushed him into the empty seat Kurenai had been in to stand up angrily. “Kakashi!”

Temari stared at the weak-kneed incubus who was literally rolling in Naruto’s lust that had been slightly soured by anger. “I’ll take him. Gaara, I’m using your bed.” She said as she grabbed Kakashi who was moaning incoherently and dragged him towards Gaara’s bedroom. “Sasuke, you should know better than to tempt us all like that,” she scolded before smirking at the Uchiha, “though I probably couldn’t resist either with someone like him.”

“I’ll take care of Gaara.” Kurenai called after her, her eyes trailing down to the obvious erection between the redhead’s legs. She gave an insufferable sigh as she looked at Naruto, “Now I’m the only one who hasn’t fed from your little human, Sasuke, quite unfair.”

“Whattya mean fed?” Naruto asked, completely lost as he tried to understand how kissing him had practically made Kakashi catatonic and why that meant Temari needed to take him to Gaara’s bed.

“May I show you?” She purred seductively as she ignored Sasuke’s irate snarl. “Just a kiss, but as you can see, my skin is pale right now, yes?”

He narrowed his eyes, but nodded.

“And have you ever noticed how after Sasuke kisses you or has sex with you that he looks more lively?” She tantalizingly ran her fingers over Naruto’s jaw, those blue eyes inquisitively looking at her as he nodded again. He hadn’t really thought about it before, but after they had sex, Sasuke always seemed more energetic, not less. “That’s because we feed off you through such actions, watch what happens after I kiss you.”

“Okay…?” Naruto hesitantly said after glancing at Sasuke, his lover’s expression caught between annoyance and amusem*nt.

Kurenai chuckled, her lips coming closer until she finally kissed him gently, almost petal softly. She pulled away, her claret eyes glowing as a sudden flush appeared on her cheeks and her skin took a more warm tone. “Holy sh*t,” she panted as she became submerged in dizzying curiosity and she locked gazes with Sasuke, “do not tell others, we’re your friends and we won’t say anything, but if this is the depth of his emotion when he’s not even attracted…how the hell are you even lucid?”

“My first taste was just a brush of fingers and it took every ounce of strength not to f*ck him on the bar.” Sasuke chuckled as Kurenai stepped away from his lover, the woman probably the only one he would trust not to go further than a kiss with the blonde bartender. “I actually blacked out the first time we had sex.”

“Gaara, where can we f*ck?” Kurenai asked, dragging the redhead away, “You know I can take a rough roll in the sheets and you need a release before you ruin your friendship with Sasuke by doing something you’ll regret.”

“The bathroom, I bolted the shower rail to the wall.” He murmured predatorily with one last look at Sasuke and Naruto in his living room. “Feel free to use the couch; I just cleaned it this morning.”

“Are your friends’ swingers or something?” The blonde asked cynically, “Or do you all just sleep with each other? I mean, Gaara asked for an orgy, that’s not normal, Sasuke.” Naruto gasped, looking up at his boyfriend wide-eyed as he asked in a hushed tone, “Is this some kind of friend initiation thing? Am I expected to f*ck them to be friends with your friends?!”

Sasuke snorted, “No.”

“Are they drug users?” He asked seriously, frowning as he thought about Sasuke’s strange friends.

No, nor are they alcoholics.”

“They’re sex-addicts then.” Naruto nodded to himself with surety before looking at Sasuke sharply, “f*ck, you’re a sex-addict too! But they mentioned you were celibate, were you a reformed sex-addict?” He gasped again, “You all met in a sex-addicts rehab class or something?! Obviously you all failed too, but…oh no, I broke your control, didn’t I?”

“Usuratonkachi,” Sasuke muttered as he stared at his blonde lover, “they’re like me. Gaara, Hidan and Kakashi are all incubi and Temari and Kurenai are succubae. We have all slept with each other, except for Gaara and Temari because even among my kind incest is still taboo, but that was ages ago. We feed off of emotions, but sexual energy is the most filling and desirable and so we are very sexual creatures.”

“W-wait a minute, you’re actually an incubus?!” Naruto yelled as it suddenly dawned on him that he was the only human in an apartment of beings that fed off of sexual emotions. “I thought you just called yourself one!”

Sasuke muttered, “Dobe,” as he grabbed his dazed lover and dragged him out of Gaara’s apartment, “let’s go home.”

“But I have questions and no one has really explained anything to me except Kurenai!”

“Do you really want to be here while my friends, who for all intents and purposes are high off of you,” Naruto warbled illogically at that thought, “f*ck each other?”

“Well, when you put it that way…” He edged towards the door, furtively glancing over his shoulder just to be certain he wasn’t about to be suddenly yanked into an orgy. “But I can still ask you questions, right?”

As soon as they outside of the apartment, Sasuke pressed Naruto against the wall roughly and gutturally sibilating, “No questions right now,” before attacking the blonde’s lips hungrily as he ground his hips against his lover’s. Naruto let out a whining moan as Sasuke threaded his fingers through his hair, their tongues battling erotically as Sasuke became consumed with heady desire.

When they finally separated, Naruto stared into claret colored irises being almost swallowed by lust blown pupils. “Can I ask one?” He whispered and Sasuke gave him a longsuffering look, but nodded. “What’s it mean when your eyes change colors?”

The lewd smile that came to Sasuke’s lips was all teeth and predacious salacity, “It means I’m ravenous.

The dark desire in that rumbling cadence had Naruto trembling as he leaned forward and kissed Sasuke torridly for a moment, all other questions erased from his mind. “Then let’s get you home so I can make sure you’re fed.” The raven incubus moaned at the carnality in those sapphire depths as Naruto interlaced their fingers and pulled Sasuke towards the elevator. “Gotta make sure I keep my lover healthy, right?”

Sasuke’s eyes became riveted on the blonde’s ass, the jeans he was wearing should be illegal and the way they teased him with every step Naruto took was making any other thought almost impossible. They stepped onto the elevator and he contemplated their chances of making it home, Naruto’s apartment was only ten minutes away, but Sasuke highly doubted they’d make it out of the building before he snapped. At least now he could use his biology as an excuse for accosting his lover wherever he wanted to.

And with that thought, Sasuke pulled the emergency stop, forcing the elevator to come to a screeching halt, and captured Naruto’s lips in a lasciviously obscene kiss that had the blonde practically crawling up his body with brazen depravity. As his eyes rolled up in the inferno of Naruto’s emotions, Sasuke had one last thought before he lost himself utterly and completely to his little blonde human.

He was never giving Naruto up. The blonde bartender might be an idiot, but he was his intoxicating blonde idiot.

Page 24

Intoxicating Blonde Idiots - Dhampir (Dhampire) (2024)


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